Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Dan & Memphis Chat On SuperPass Tonight
Dan, winner of BB10, along with fellow Renegade and BB10 runner-up, Memphis, will be video chatting tonight at 9:00 PM ET on Feed 4. So if you've been watching the re-feeds, don't forget to switch your feeds when the time comes.
There's another great reason to watch their interview tonight. You'll have a chance to win a one-year subscription to SuperPass which will include the BB11 feeds! For more information on how to win one of the five subscriptions being given away check out the thread on Real Networks' Big Brother message boards.
I'll see you there!

***Note - I have been out of town and haven't forgotten about the last part of the roast. I just haven't had the opportunity to get it posted. Keep an eye out for it later this week.
Posted by HamsterDame at 05:23 AM | Comments (7)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
HamsterDame's Roast - Part 3
Ladies and gents, this is HD speaking. I know I told you there would be three parts to this roast of mine but I have lied -- kinda. For the record, I would like for you to know that I read the parts of the roast only right before I prepared them for publication. I selfishly wanted to prolong the pleasure of being cooked on the spit while spinning round and round over the hot coals. It's now my turn to prolong your pleasure.
As you all know, DRATS is a man of very few words. So few in fact that it would take you longer to read the great Moby Dick than it would for you to read his roasting diatribe. He even took the opportunity to roast many of you along with me. How kind of you DRATS! So what follows below is his roast to you. His roast to me, as well as Gregor's closing comments, will be posted for your enjoyment later this week.
Before the roast continues, let me fill you in on a little Big Brother news. Keesha, Big Brother 10 dolphin girl extraordinaire, will be interviewed by Chelsia Hart from BB9 this Friday, September 26th at 9:00 PM ET. The interview will be aired on Feed 4 and has the makings of a pretty damned good show. That is, if you consider two mentally unstable young ladies wearing too much makeup and laughing maniacally entertaining. (I kid, I kid, I'm in roasting mode.) I'll remind you again later this week and hope you all join me in chat while we watch them expound on the wonders of the universe.
Now everybody, what follows below is Gregor's opening monologue for our dear DRATS and DRATS' droning roast to all of you (Luv ya Drats and Gregor!). Enjoy!
The final guest roaster this evening has single-handedly caused a huge spike in traffic at Dictionary.com with his use of ten-dollar words for his two-pence prose. And like a great plague, no one is immune to his brand of satire. He is the Pied Piper of Silly Hamsters, blowing his skinny, flute like instrument to the delight of HamsterDame's minions. Not unlikened to William Wallace, his sword is indeed mightier than his pen, but we all know he is only gathering souls for his master with his demonically deadly witticisms.
"And why do we fall DRATS? So we can learn to pick ourselves back up. All creatures feel fear DRATS. Even the scary ones? Especially the scary ones." - DRATSman Forever
Like a healthy shot of Jeagermeister, just the taste of imbibing his literary concoctions can leave a sour look on your face. He not mearly a writer, he is a Wordologist! His penchant for butchering words (even his own name) has caused me to realize that his moniker is actually an anagram. Therefore I offer you all a list of possible anagrams for dratsab tnagorra.
Of course there is the obvious choice giving us all proof that he is completely ass backwards, Arrogant Bastard.
Then there is a very telling option of A Bastard Grantor. Next are the ever so curious A Starboard Grant and Sandbar Gator Art. Baa Drat Grantors conveys his long known love for sheep, where Bastard Tarragon shows he may prefer his mutton spicy. Abroad Art Grants may prove that despite his protestations he has a humanitarian bone in his body. While Aboard Rang Tarts may give us some insight to his preference for seagoing sirens, Starboard Nag Rat may tell us which side of the bed he prefers when sleeping with his favorite animals. Radar Strata Bong is possibly what he uses to smoke his kind buds.
Finally, (because this could go on for hours) Narrator's Bad Tag is actually the best descriptive anagram of the chosen name by our good friend DRATS. You all know him, and some of you may even love him (who wants to be marooned on that island?), but unfortunately it is hard for all of us to ignore him. Everyone please at least pretend to care, and give him a hot and nasty welcome... DRATS has entered the building!
HamsterDame, Ladies and Gentlemen, Honoured Guests, and other assorted Sub-Amoebic Life forms,
As a self made man who worships my creator, ordinarily I would decline an invitation to any gathering that would draw persons such as my self. However, seeing as how Gregor's gone to such effort to put together so lively a gathering, how could I resist? (Perhaps later this evening when things pick up, we can all get some formaldehyde and embalm each other.) Now then...
Since this swell exercise in defamation was Gregor's little brainstorm, (which is all the more impressive considering that prior to this point the closest he'd ever come to one was a slight drizzle) I think it only right we thank him for his efforts...
*lifting his glass of "Bruichladdich" *
Thank you, Gregor. We've been through so much together, and I can say with absolute certainty that most of it was entirely your fault. Your KFC spork-like wit is indeed legendary. Gregor, (my often wrong friend) there are only two requirements to be a smart ass. Not to worry though my friend, you've got the second part down pat. Nevertheless, (and somehow simultaneously, always-the-less) you have delighted us long enough. (Yada - yada...)
Sleepyeye10, my gorgeous little 5'1 nymph. So darling, What's on your mind? (If you'll forgive the overstatement.)
Ya know it's many a time that I've pondered precisely which of Newton's three laws of motion keeps your ears apart, but now in person, (feeling my inner light being drawn into the gaping black hole of your intellect) I believe I finally understand. No, really pumpkin, it's quite alright. Just go back to whatever it was you were doing. Clearly you're deep in thought, (and as it's unfamiliar territory) we wouldn't want you to get lost. Wait. On second thought...
*looks around*
Speaking of lost, I see that BenF is joining us tonight; a man with truly mammoth delusions of adequacy. Ben has all of the virtues I abhor and none of the vices I admire. Benny, you're a man after my own heart, (which is interesting considering in all likelihood it's the only thing in this room emptier than your head). Really, come on man. Putting Keesha in the same category as Elizabeth Montgomery? Why don't you just bore a hole in your side, let the rest of the sap run out, and we'll all have pancakes. My friend, when they made you they broke the mold... Then, they found the mold-maker, dragged him into the street, and shot him... Repeatedly.
Ah the beautiful SuZieQ, you're a parasite for sore eyes. (Bet'cha can't say "magic wand" with your mouth full.)
Ever the fashionista, I see you're wearing April's "hump-me" pumps in honour of the occasion. Your saccharine aptitude for misquotation and your unique flair for the unintelligible, brighten a room like a birthday candle in a vacuum. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...
*crickets chirp*
Which brings us to the lovely Betty, whose sole purpose in life may very well be to serve as a warning to others. Tell me Betty, Has the thought ever crossed your mind (which would undoubtedly a very long and lonely journey) that perhaps in each of your posts; you've missed an invaluable opportunity to remain silent? Betty my dear, your posts weren't merely pathetic, they were fancy pathetic; they were pathetic with cashews and raisins baked inside.
Moving on... (Oh my, is that Thor's Hammer I see swinging downward?)
I am deeply saddened by Tavia's absence from our gathering this evening, and it is with a heavy heart that I must deliver ill tidings... I received word several hours ago that her dim little light was extinguished while attending a presidential debate. Evidently Tavia decided midway through the candidate's speech that she could provide a better reiteration of Jimmy Carter's economic policies than the presenter, and was shot by secret service while attempting to force Obama off the stage. While I will be unable to attend the funeral, I did send a lovely Hallmark card voicing my approval of it. We loved her dearly, (some of us more often than others) and she will be missed. (Kinda the way we miss Big Brother, Season 9)
~ Tavia (A Brief Eulogy) ~
In her single person Tavia managed to produce the effect of a majority. We will never forget her relentless efforts to complicate the simplistic, nor her cherubic consideration of fellow bloggers. Despite having a mouth that could have easily been mistaken for a wicker toilet seat, she never wrote a single word that might send a reader to the dictionary. Tavia, if you're up there, (oh, who the hell am I kidding?) while you're down there, remember the words of Oscar Wilde, "Some bring happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
*sniff*
And then there's darling Diff. Diff, that's short for the PC term, "Differently Clued" right? Diff, before we proceed let's clear up a few things...
1.) No, The fact that no one understands you doesn't necessarily make you an artist.
2.) Yes, I am indeed Satan, but these days my duties are largely ceremonial.
3.) No, a polygon is not a dead parrot.
Diff my dear, I only mock out of envy; as you have the distinct talent of being able to compress the most words into the smallest idea conceivable. Moreover, you've never allowed those ideas, (however small) to interrupt the flow of our conversations. But don't get me wrong my friends; Diff is nobody's fool. (We are however, doing our very best to find a nice family who's willing to adopt her.)
Kimberly... Hi, I'm Earth. Have we met?
*waits*
Nope, still nothing.
Oh my darling Dixie-Cup. (Aka. reklatS) Hope as you might, I couldn't forget you. (And the gods know, I've tried.) I will always treasure the false image I have of you. Speaking of images... Warning: Objects in mirror are denser then they appear. Regardless of how trivial the post, I could always count on your compliments. Like a magnificent stampede of lips galloping towards my bonny derriere; Dixie thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
Oh divinely tragic comedy that is Dixie. Thy mind is Teflon; (nothing sticks) so open that notions and ideas simply pass by, as effortlessly as the whistling wind through your ears.
And yet to your good credit, you go on loving Nature in spite of what she's done to you. Nature, not content with merely denying you the ability to think, has endowed you with the ability to write. How very ironic to be refused the power of conversation but not that of speech.
*clears his throat*
Alau53, what can I say? A rejection letter from MENSA wouldn't be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? I could go on, but really; what would be the point? Without your "Speak n' Spell" handy; none whatsoever.
And then there's Gray, a man who has occasionally stumbled over the truth, but somehow managed to pick himself up and hurry along as if nothing happened. Gray old boy, (and I do mean "old" because when God said let there be light, Gray was actually there to flip the switch) some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. Never has there been anyone who knows so little, so fluently.
Gray, when you talk, other people get hoarse just listening. I could talk on for hours about my good buddy Gray, (much the same way he does in his posts) but I see he's waiting for me to finish so he can visit the men's room. Gray, when you reach the end of the corridor you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.
*sips some more scotch*
Oh, I'm sorry Dee, I didn't notice you there. Beloved Dee, I'll never forget those now famous words, "DRATS, I appreciate your taking the time to take me on..." Dear, so many times I've tried, "to take you on" and yet it's never worked because you're so very off. Try as I have to see things from your point of view, my efforts have been of no avail because even if I could manage to put my head there, I don't know of a doctor willing to install the Plexiglas I'd need in my naval so I could see where I was going. Dee, I've always thought of your writing like watching an elephant walking on hind legs. It's not done well; but you're surprised to see it done at all.
*scanning the room*
Oh, look who's here! Footballmom, How nice to see you! Recently, Governor Sarah Palin said something that reminded me of you. What was it? Oh yes… "What's the difference between a pit bull and a hockey (or football) mom?" (Nope, not the lipstick.) One is just a dumb animal, and the other is a dog…
*finishing the last of his scotch*
And here we have our lovely Coleen. (And of course we all know what the one "L" stands for don't we?) Coleen, never has so little been said so eloquently. Tell me luv, are you still waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity, or was temporarily taking the reigns from Hammy quite enough? Colie, I have watched in awe as you plunged into a sea of platitudes, and with the powerful breast stroke of a channel swimmer, confidently made your way towards the white cliffs of the obvious. So often this season you've shown us that there is no nonsense so arrant, that it cannot be transformed into the creed of the vast majority. All that is required is encyclopedia of nescience and a high enough platform to recite it from. Thank you once again, for filling such small shoes, so inadequately.
*lights a cigar*
Now before I go on... To those of you I may have left out, I apologize. I'm not being rude; it's just that you're really that insignificant.
Posted by HamsterDame at 06:10 PM | Comments (31)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
HamsterDame's Roast - Part 2
Totally disproving the old saying "Better late than never" we are happy to finally welcome SuzieQ to the stage... just as soon as she is done doing that line, errr I mean "powdering her nose" in the ladies room.
Our dearest HD-
If you can't be a good example for us, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
Before you open up your mouth to speak, make sure it's an improvement on the silence.
You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement immediately.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be overjoyed.
Did you have an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
Shhhh...that's the sound of nobody caring what you think.
We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
Opinions are like asses...everyone's got 'em and they all stink.
Hates sex in the movies...tried it once..seat folded up and drink spilled.
Remember, any woman can have the body of a 21 year old....just buy him a few drinks first.
and, HD, it's not that I'm insensitive to your feelings....I just don't care!
Sorry I didn't have time to really get into this...I'm sure you have plenty of good stuff from our more popular posters...bringing me to one more bit for one of our more eloquent members (DRATS, if you couldn't guess)
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick. (just couldn't resist!!)
SuzieQ
This couple are the ultimate voyeurs, hiding behind their keyboard (usually buck naked) while they sit reading all that HamsterDame had to say. It may surprise you to hear that your all-knowing host Gregor has no clue who this pair of BB watchers is. But I honestly don't recall ever seeing them creeping around the Silly Hamsters hacienda. That doesn't quite let them off the hook though. Strangers to me or not, we all know that if they read SH they are probably just strange. Straight from their cave dwelling somewhere deep in the Appalachians I bring you the poetic married duo (and possibly siblings) Tiffadee and Boogedyshu
We wanted to be there in spirit with you, so here's our poetic contribution...
Ode To Hamster Dame
Oh Hamster Dame
thou noble scribe,
your words we read
and then imbibe.
You rule the "House" we call Big Brother
like some magical, mystical, wonderful mother.
You keep us cool;
you keep us sharp
with wisdom, insight, and so much heart.
You make us feel like never before
each time a houseguest's shown the door.
You've graced us with laughs
and even some tears
for lo these many Big Brother years.
So let's take a moment to pause the game...
for our dearly beloved Hamster Dame.
Forever Lurking,
Tiffadee and Boogedyshu
When I say this next long time poster is funny, I don't just mean ha ha. Mel Brooks has nothing on this guy. Through the seasons of BB he has tortured us with unstoppable belly laughs. The kind that don't end until you've pissed yourself and turned purple from lack of breath. And that's just from looking at his picture!
When you read the crap he throws on a snow white back drop that's when the side splitting begins.
I am beginning to get cramped up just thinking about what he might write next, or is that my breakfast talking to me? He ain't heavy man... he's light in the loafers. His love for the divas keeps him coming back for more though. That and I keep threatening to give him a spanking, to which he always replies "Don't threaten me with a good time sailor!" Now everyone please hide your liquor as we bring everyone's favorite lush to the stage... BenF!
Ben F Celebrates Hamster Dame Through The Years: A Verbal Journey
HD to Pete Rose: I'm not going to ban you. LOL
HD to OJ Simpson: Calm down killa. ;)
HD to Geraldo Rivera: I'm just tired of people saying false things about everybody.
HD to e.e. cummings: Thanks for commenting but please do us all a favor next time and don't type in all uppercase. If you want to do all lowercase that's fine with me just not all uppercase.
HD to Rush Limbaugh and James Carvelle: Would all of you just cut it out? It's been like kindergarten around here lately.
HD to the Pope: I guess I can't please anybody. Religion was being discussed in the house and it was Easter so it was only obvious that it would be discussed here. It's not an all or nothing kind of thing. But if you want to read all about Christianity, then by all means knock yourself out.
HD to Monica Lewinsky: As far as the cum in drinks, that was all a joke and he never intended on doing any of it. Nasty and disgusting talk, yes I'll agree. But many people are exaggerating what went on and blowing things way out of proportion.
HD to Hannibal Lecter: You so cuh-razeeee!
HD to Patrick Henry: Why don't you tell us how you really feel? LMAO!
HD to the Manic Depressive Convention Attendees: All I can do is laugh at this point because some people will never be happy.
HD to Knute Rockne: For the millionth time already, I called it exciting. Be it in a good way or a bad way it was exciting. In other words, it wasn't a namby pamby pussy boy I love you speech. Jeez!
HD to Judy Collins: Please try to see both sides!
HD to Shakespeare: You haven't pissed me off. But it was a sentence that refers to the paragraph that precedes it. All by itself, that sentence could mean anything. When read after the paragraph I wrote it for, then it makes sense. I apologize if you are having difficulty with that and I shall strive in the future to write more clearly for you.
HD to Ted Williams, Carl Yastrzemski, and Stan Musial: Ah, no worries. I find these 'out of left field' comments hilarious!
HD to Deep Throat: We'll have none of that here. The others don't need to know what we're talking about. It's just our little secret. ;)
HD to the Senate: I get really sick of the bickering around here sometimes and I've had enough of it tonight. Like you said, there's nothing going on in the House so people have decided to turn on each other here. Not anymore tonight they will! LOL.
HD when the President tried to reach her during the night on the Red site: Oh please forgive me! I was asleep at 1:05 AM CT time when you posted your first comment. And again, I apologize because I was still asleep when you tried to post this comment at 2:14 AM CT time. I work a 40-hr day job during the week but perhaps I should quit that so that I can be here to post your comments in the wee hours of the morning on weekdays. Come on already. And I can't give you a cutoff time. It's whenever I go to sleep or aren't around to post your comment. That's the cutoff time. Sorry for sounding a bit miffed but it's because I am. I need sleep too dear!
HD to Howard Dean in the 2004 election: I agree with you. I was just happy to see something else besides those boring ass speeches. LMAO!
HD to David Letterman: Oprah isn't in the house and neither is her pudenda.
HD to Henry VIII: Does everybody have to agree with you? And if not, do you really have to tell them that they're wrong?
HD to Stephen A. Douglas about Abraham Lincoln: I'm seeking some excitement. But it sure reads to me like you're singling yet another person out to disagree with.
HD about Lady Godiva: Well after her behavior last night, let's just say I'm less of a fan than I was.
HD to Steven Spielberg: You're going to make me cry! And in a happy way! LOL
HD to the Marquis de Sade: And we all know how you love to be reprimanded! *cracks whip* ;)
Things HD has said about dick:
- I was never a Dick fan.
- Boy, did I have fun last season with that!
- We get that you're a Dick fan. Please give it a rest and try to be considerate of others.
- Personally, I don't care enough about Dick to do that. But I get what you're getting at....
- I did like Dick at first but I've grown to where I can't really stand him
- Dick is still in it.
- Yeah, it's not like we want somebody to eff Dick up the arse until he bleeds or anything.
- I haven't been gaga over Dick in a long time.
BenF
From HD - Oh dear! I can't wait to see what y'all have in store for me in Part 3. I love you guys! Great job once again Gregor!
Posted by HamsterDame at 07:36 PM | Comments (37)
Friday, September 19, 2008
HamsterDame's Roast - Part 1
On this inauspicious occasion we gather to pay homage to our guest of honor HamsterDame. She runs this little web site that has become quite notorious for handing out spankings, but for some reason many of us keep coming back to read her never ending updates.
Silly Hamsters is the name of the site, and the name says it all. Like stalkers, we look into her window hoping to catch her with her pants down so we can post the pictures on YouTube. Our voyeuristic nature keeps us returning to the scene of the crime. Either that or the smell of the room tells us it's time to give HamsterDame more pellets, freshen her water and clean out her cage. If it weren't for us she would probably never remove her eyes from the Big Brother feeds and forget to eat altogether.
In a way we are keeping her alive and well, like psychopaths with our victim locked in the basement, we lower the bucket and say to her "it puts the lotion on it's skin, or else it gets the hose again!"
So we pay homage to our kidnapped host. All the while more and more stalkers darken her door. She is about as charismatic as a train wreck and attracts the biggest of monsters.
Even the weather seems to send it's worst nightmares in her direction. Through the years she has been paid visits by the likes of benignly named terrors Alicia, Bonnie, Allison, Chantal, Jerry, Dean, Allison (again), Grace, Humberto, Rita and now Ike. She seems to be a magnet for disaster. Each time she just flips them the bird and goes right on typing. Perhaps that is why we watch her travails through the internets. One never knows when the next storm of conflict will rise up and cause her grief.
Other names have appeared throughout the years. Coleen with one "L", diff, Dixie, footballmom, gray, Grog, Claypo, SuZieQ, xtex88, Sleepyeye10, DRATS, alua53, Betty, CanFan, BenF, verity and a whole slew of other visitors who so badly need get lives that Death himself wouldn't waste his time with them. It is my extreme misfortune that tonight I have that task.
But since I am easily persuaded (usually a six-pack of import beer will do the trick), I have been commissioned to put on this soiree. If you have not been mentioned, it's because you didn't care enough to give me your input or I didn't care enough to use it!
I realize some of you wouldn't know funny if it crawled up your pants leg and nibbled your bum. So just in case you think I am talking about you... I probably am.
Appropriate cliche is an oxymoron in my opinion, so let me use another one, let's get this show on the road!
Before we do, let me remind you all that this is a roast. If you were not aware of what a roast is all about then you are about to get an education and quite possibly a rude awakening. Those who didn't know what they were getting themselves into should understand that this is all in jest and meant to be humorous in the darkest sense of the word.
Let the games begin!
Our first guest tonight is our great and gracious friend diff. She tries to say that a lot of us are better writers than she is, but we all know she can be witty as a wombat. Even though she is often accused of having a few in her belfry! Everyone give a warm welcome to the wonderfully wacky Silly Hamsters wunderkind, diff and her poetic stylings!
HD,
My literary ability pales to that of Drats, BenF, Gray, Sleepyeye10, Dixie, Gregor, Grog and many, many others, but it comes from the heart HD...
There once was a woman in Texas,
Probably not drivin' round in a Lexus
Reality's her game,
HD is her name
Her site is the bomb,
She's like everyone's mom
We all come to play,
Not an ass? you can stay
Her hand slappin's a bitch,
She'll drag your words through a ditch
Beware of your tongue,
Or you'll be wishing you hadn't swung
As you're reading and trying to eat,
Her wit can knock you right off your seat
Quality's we adore,
As you spew your coffee all over the floor
Producers make her mad,
Manipulation makes her sad
BenF makes her smile big,
While Drats has her doing a jig
Will is her baby,
While Dan is a maybe
Eddie was her Duke,
While Maggie made her wanna puke!
Ivette made her glad she's a hetero,
James Z's big 'thang' made her say, 'rut-row'
Evel made her crazy,
And she wished Keesha wasn't lazy
Nakomis' voice grated on her last nerve,
Marcellas' 'boo-boo', threw her a curve
Holly King made her feeds a dread,
And she called Jase a 'poopyhead'!
Thought Kaysar was 'dumb',
And Cappy a chum...................p
Cheesy comps make her wish she was blind,
But thought Sarah was oh so kind
Could go on and on with this,
Instead I blow you all a kiss
HD's knowledge of the game,
Rivals all sites of the same
We love her enough,
And know that she's tough
To take all our crap,
But she's nobody's sap
Love ya HD,
Peace, Health and Happiness,
diff
Our next guest star is more of the strong, silent type. He is a man of few words, but when he does wander out from his fortified bunker to speak, his words pack a powerful punch!
Say hello to the boards favorite stalker, alau53!
HamsterDame has been blogging big brother so long isn't it about time she changes her bio to be a forty something female instead of a thirty something female..don't they say forty is the new thirty?
alau53
Our next guest may only type with one finger, but that one finger is more powerful than Rick James pimp hand. She is an infamous musician, along the same vane as William Hung and she has written a wonderful ditty for HD and some of her favorite hamsters from this season. Now everyone don your ear plugs as you give it up for Betty and her rambunctious remake of I'm a Little Tea Pot.
I'M A LITTLE HAMSTER
sing to the tune of I'm a Little Teapot
verse 1 dedicated to Keesha "I'd go on allstars if they invited me." (I'll watch you if you do.)
I'm a little hamster
Don't wanna pout
Put me up and vote me out.
CHORUS
I have a friend in Texas ...Hamster Dame,
She tells the world about my shame.
My housemates didn't keep me,
And that's okay.
I may live to play another day.
verse 2 dedicated to Michelle "I do look good on camera." (That's a matter of opinion.)
I'm a little hamster
Tall and coarse
Wind me up and hear me curse.
CHORUS
verse 3 dedicated to April "I left the house with my dignity intact." (We'll see you in Hustler.)
I'm a little hamster
Long and thin
Turn on youtube and watch me sin.
CHORUS
verse 4 dedicated to Ollie "April, will you be my first girlfriend?" (WTF OMG ROTFLMAO)
I'm a little hamster
Don't drink or smoke
Just your typical horny bloke.
CHORUS
verse 5 dedicated to Jerry "stupid of me to fall in the pool" (Trusting Memphis is even dumber.)
I'm a little hamster
old and gray
I wave the flag all thru the day.
(all together now) CHORUS
Thanks so much, HD, for all your hard work. Hope to read your blog on BB 11.
Betty
Cantankerous may be the best way to describe our next guest. She hails from the land of cotton and she has been known to have a thing for arrogant bastards. She is an aspiring talk show host and reportedly the actual reason that soldiers used to sing O, I wish I was in Dixie! Hooray! Hooray!
Everyone please give a warm round of applause and a rebel yell for my friend (and DRATS' secret admirer) Dixie!
Top 10 Ways you know you've been blogging too long with Hamster Dame...
#10 - You sneak away to your computer after your significant other goes to sleep
#9 - ...You end your sentences with.....three or more periods.....
#8 - You start experiencing "withdrawals" after waiting so long for HD to put your post up
#7 - You buy a cell phone specially equipped for blogging
#6 - Your purchase vanity license plates with "BB" and your screen name on it
#5 - You sit on-line all night waiting for Drats to post
#4 - Benf starts getting the hots for you
#3 - Gray thinks you're old, feeble and stupid
#2 - Drats posts something about YOU
and the #1 way you know you've been blogging too long with HD....
#1 - You make the call back to join the HG's next season
Dixie
Thanks for that Dixie, although I think David Letterman's job is still safe... I kid, I kid.
Now our next participant has gotten a special pass from the Betty Ford clinic so she could be with us tonight. I seems that she is so alone even Mr. Sandman won't pay her a visit. Of course she's always got us to keep her from feeling too lonely. The bags under her eyes are SO BIG,(HOW BIG ARE THEY!) they're so big that when she checks out at the grocery store the sacker NEVER asks "paper or plastic ma'am?" (GROAN)
Okay, Okay. With no further ado, let's have a rousing welcome for Sleepyeye!
(Sleepyeye grips the podium.)
Ahh-khummm, HD you are...
*raises voice to cover noise from knocking knees*
HD you are an enabler. I am sure I speak for more than just myself when I state that I have failed to kick the BB habit, in fact it has gotten worse. I've tried 12 step programs to no avail, and to be perfectly frank, it's thanks to Silly Hamsters. I innocently tripped across your site in 2006 -- lurked about -- and then bam! You reeled me in, as you have done with so many others. I changed my moniker a few times in hopes that others would not know how effective your trap was. Finally decided to call a spade a spade -- and admitted to being sleepy-eyed from season to season -- All thanks to you.
Last year you led us all to drink on more than one occasion. Poor Toots really got hammered once, to the point where Gregor had to call a Taxi for Pete's Sake. We ordered out, and drank some more, all while you reigned over the Silly Hamster Kingdom.
Each year I notice how nice you look in your Ref outfit. Last season you ruled over many a bout of all star wrestling between Gray and... Well pretty much any other poster. You participate in smack downs to those that take you on, and you always come out the winner.
This year you have led us to be environmentally conscious by leading the fight against the Plastics. You have helped us understand that what goes on under the sheets -- does not always stay there; nice doesn't equal win; houseguests actually have many names; and that CBS/BB really knows how to edit. You've gathered many a character to your Silly Kingdom that help offer sage information for all to read and ponder, all the while keeping the peace throughout the land.
Some of the head court jesters are DRATS, Diff, BenF, Gregor, Gray, Grog, a couple of col(l)eens, SuZieQ, Dixie (of many names), and so many more. Without you this place would be chaos. With that I leave you with this little ditty:
Since we've found HD's Silly Site
We now have greater insight
Because Silly Hamsters has great might
We've lost our daily life to this plight.
*sleepyeye shuffles off to snooze until next season*
Who knew Canadians had television? I thought those in the Great White North saw nothing but snow and primarily used televisions as extra storage boxes for their beer. But apparently this one actually figured out what a satellite dish is for and sees Big Brother regularly as well as an awe inspiring ability to use a computer, something even our aspiring POTUS hasn't yet figured out. Because Sarah Palin can see her country from Alaska, let's ignore the fact that she ain't from around here and welcome CanFan to the party!
Having been a Big Brother TV fan for five seasons, in the sixth Season I was amazed and delighted to find a group of individuals online who shared the same passion (what can I say - I was a slow learner). Of course, their leader was a mediocre blogger who was elevated to cult status by her obsession with Big Brother and by our obsession with her.
What can you say about someone who abandons her family and friends to take up with a group of hapless voyeurs for three-month stretches of time? You can say she's crazy, that's what you can say. So, Crazydame, I hope you know that this roast was all in good fun. We would never write these things about you if we didn't love you ... at least not where you could read them.
CanFan
From HD - Y'all are crazy and fantastic! Gregor, thank you for all of the hard work that you put into doing this. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know. Everybody, this is just the first part. The second and third parts are coming up over the next couple of days. I hope all of you laugh as much as I did when I was reading all of this. :)
Posted by HamsterDame at 04:30 AM | Comments (52)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Some Links For You
Still happy that Dan won? I sure am! He seems like such a nice and genuine guy outside of the house. Definitely not at all like the ass we thought he would be at the beginning of the season.
If you'd like to watch more videos with Dan and everybody else in the house this season, you can find all of the interviews right here. Also, check out yesterday's House Calls with Dan and Memphis below.
There is also an interview up with Evel Dick and Dan in your SuperPass' Big Brother section. Keep checking there for more interviews with all of the other hamsters from this season as well. Midseasonreplacements has a great interview with Dan that's definitely worth checking out.
The wrap party will be soon and we all know there will be crazy pics from there as well as the seasonal gag reel. That's the thing I can't wait for!
Update on Friday, September 19th - Here are some photos from the wrap party last night. And below is part of the gag reel shown at the wrap party.
Posted by HamsterDame at 04:25 AM | Comments (33)
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
After 71 Days
Dan, the Catholic school teacher, is the winner of Big Brother 10!
What a perfect ending to a perfect season! I actually had my favorite from early on win and I'm still in shock over it. I mean, actually I'm not but really I am. Oh, you know what I mean.
I say it for every Big Brother season finale but I really wish it could have been two hours long. There's just so much to show. I would really love it if they showed some of the hilarious and drama-filled footage to everybody so we could see their reaction rather than waiting to hear about it later in interviews or wrap party videos. Perhaps some day.
So how about the finale tonight? The jury questioning that they showed was rather brutal -- especially Michelle's. She got to drop two bombshells. First, she outed Dan's luxury trip with her to Memphis and then she outed hers and Memphis' alliance to Dan. I may not like her that much but that's what I love to see in the jury questioning. None of that congratulations and you played a good game and why do you deserve to win crap.
I'm still reeling from April voting for Dan to win. I know. They edit them to make us second guess how they'll be voting but I seriously didn't expect April to vote for Dan to win. I thought Ollie would but not April. Libra voting for Dan to win didn't surprise me at all and neither did Renny or Keesha. I could have seen Jerry's vote going either way since he figured out after he was evicted that the two renegades were working together.
But hey, some of Memphis' responses to their questions were pretty lame. And Memphis saying that he tried to be an asset to the jurors' game while they were in the house didn't help either. Libra was right on that one exclaiming that he'd never won anything to really be an asset. She's right. It was Dan working to make himself an asset to everybody's game. Whose vote did they jockey for each week in the beginning? Yep, that would be Dan.
I giggled when Dan almost went into football coach speech mode for his final words to the jury. He's a good speaker though and knows what to say to massage people's egos. No matter how you feel about Dan, take a look around you at the most successful people you personally know and chances are they're good at schmoozing people. You know what I'm talking about don't you?
There were no punches pulled on Jerry when he entered the jury house. Renny acted like she would get up at any moment and slap the old man. Kudos to Jerry for staying rather calm while Renny was confirming her loose cannon personality. Did any of you happen to recognize that black pleather outfit that April had on for that occasion? The only thing she was missing was the whip. Ollie was probably sitting on it handle inserted. Meow.
As usual, most everybody looked really great for the finale. Too bad Jerry couldn't have persuaded somebody to get him a new outfit. And what was up with Keesha wearing jeans? Perhaps she was afraid of spilling her alcoholic beverages on one of her good outfits later. Which undoubtedly would be happening right about NOW. Michelle looked really great in her dress tonight as did Libra. Ollie would have looked better if he'd taken off that stupid backwards baseball cap. I can't imagine April told him to wear it because we all know she doesn't like hats. *rimshot*
For any of you that complain about Brian taking up so much time with his long spiel about what he saw in the house after was evicted, suck it. So what if Angie didn't get a chance to speak. She's used to being a piece of furniture and we all know that an armchair has no tongue. Could Renny's speech when she was casting her vote be any longer? I kept expecting Julie to jump in and tell her to vote already. And she finished it off by yelling? Eeeks!
After 71 days, 27 competitions, and 11 evictions, Dan is the winner by a vote of 7-0. Congratulations Dan! And congratulations go out to Keesha as well for winning America's Favorite Juror. Her boyfriend will appreciate the money I'm sure. I would also like to congratulate everybody at CBS for doing such a fantastic job with casting this season. It was really great and I hope we can expect more huge personalities next season.
Both Dan and Memphis will be on House Calls tomorrow so be sure to tune in at 3:00 PM ET if you can. If you'll be working like myself, I'll post up the episode later this week for you to enjoy. Also, keep an eye out here over the next two or three weeks. There will be a ton of interviews with everybody coming out soon as well as news, video, and pictures from the always fabulous wrap party. Oh, and there's this roast that many of you have planned for me this week as well. I'm sure that will be fun!
So what did you think about the finale tonight? Were you happy that Dan won? Did you have any favorite moment from the show? What would you have liked to have seen tonight? Spill it my hamster-loving readers!
Posted by HamsterDame at 07:49 PM | Comments (119)
Almost The End
I have to say that I really enjoyed Big Brother 10. They were all strangers to each other and there was no hidden twist (I don't count the week-long America's Player task). There were great competitions -- especially endurance ones. There was none of the outrageousness that was BB9. There was none of the meanness that was BB8. It was just a fun season.
Many of the original fan favorites were voted out early in the game forcing those of us who were watching to declare a new favorite. But it didn't seem to dampen any of our excitement for the season overall. Big Brother 10 was a scheming and backstabbing season reminiscent of BB3 and BB4. There were just enough fights and drama to keep us going but just as many fun times.
No matter who wins, Big Brother 10 will end up being my second favorite season behind BB2 (of course).
Who would you like to see win tonight and why? Did you have any favorite parts of the season? What were they? Is there anything different you'd like to see in Big Brother 11 (perhaps starting in February)? Let me know my friends.
Posted by HamsterDame at 03:50 AM | Comments (87)
Monday, September 15, 2008
After The Jury Questioning
Last night's show was cute and everything but it wasn't much of anything we haven't already seen before. It was fun though to see the fights again as well as the variety show and the sock puppet theater. So instead of writing about the show, I'd rather write about Dan and Memphis' reactions to the jury questioning (that I didn't see at the time) late Friday night. If by chance you didn't get to see the show last night, you can do so here.
So this is what the feeds came back to eh?
It seems that Dan is either upset at how the questioning went or he's super excited about it. He's drinking that beer down awfully fast isn't he? Hmm, Memphis must get either Ollie or April to have a chance. I'd agree with that. Memphis seems a little bit calmer when he comes out of the diary room and Dan goes in. Is it because Memphis thinks he has the game won or thinks he's the $50,000 winner?
It's always interesting each season to see how the final two react after the jury questioning. Nervous, angry, depressed, excited: their emotions are usually all over the place. To watch more of their reaction and listen to their discussions, you can do so below.
It will be interesting to see how the votes go tomorrow evening during the finale at 9:00 PM ET/8:00 PM CT.
Have you still been voting for America's Favorite? If not, you still have time! The voting will end tonight at 11:59 PM PT.
So who do you think came out ahead in the jury questioning? Who of the jury seemed the most upset or the meanest? Do you think the jury will be voting more personal or more on gameplay?
Posted by HamsterDame at 11:20 AM | Comments (59)
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Action Figures
Tonight Tuesday we'll get to see an edited version of the questions that the jury asks of Memphis and Dan, but I can't help feeling "dissed" that they went to such great efforts to prevent us, the loyal live-feeders, from watching the questioning as it unfolded. Of course I'm not surprised - they've never let us watch this live, but why not? Would it be that obvious, after, who had won and would it therefore ruin the anticipation for the live, final show? Memphis and Dan don't seem to think so.
Enough of my spoiled grapes. I spoke with HamsterDame today and got her caught up on the goings-on in the house and Silly Hamsters. Like me, she had never heard of the jurors being separated after the questioning and before the final show, in seasons prior. She also said for y'all to "play nice!"
Speaking of playing, Dan and Memphis were talking, yesterday, about the action figures that could be modeled after the Renegades and the other houseguests. They imagined that Jerry's action figure would come with a Semper Fi hat that could be removed when lying. Renny's would have lots of different wigs, costumes and disguises. Ollie's action figure would be able to say, "That was my HOH," "Suck my [little Ollie]" and "You took my manhood away." Michelle's would come with real hair and Jessie's would say random nonsense.
So I thought, in the few hours remaining before tonight's show, that we could help along the research and development of these action figures by brainstorming additional special features each could offer.
And though I'm on the west coast, I'm going to try to get the link to watch the show as it airs on the east coast, so I can get a summary post up sooner, instead of later, for everyone. Keep your fingers crossed.
Update at 2:08 PM -The best of all possible news, fellow posters: HamsterDame has had her power restored (super powers AND electrical ones) and you can expect a post on the show from her tonight. I'm not sure any of you can be happier than I am!
~Coleen with one "L"~
Update at 4:21 PM - Hey guys! Guess who? I'm back! Thank you Coleen for taking care of Silly Hamsters while I was unable to. You'll never know how much I appreciate it. I just knew I would be away for longer than this. I feel blessed and lucky that I was able to make it through Hurricane Ike unscathed. I hope all of you keep those that weren't and aren't so lucky in your thoughts. I'll have a post up about tonight's show tomorrow. As you can probably figure, Big Brother wasn't shown here so I'll have to watch it on the CBS website later.
Posted by HamsterDame at 12:44 PM | Comments (59)
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Forces of Nature
With our fearless leader, HamsterDame, and other posters from the lone star state temporarily hunkered down to avoid the perils of Ike, I could not help but reflect upon the similarities between the forces of Mother Nature and the forces at work in the Big Brother house this season.
As we anxiously await the questioning of the final two by the jurors, we find ourselves in the calm before the storm. How will it all play out? Who will win? Who will lose?
Just like we have our live feeds of the house, the weather channel and satellite radio offer 24/7 coverage of Hurricane Ike. The internet offers chat rooms for Houston locals and others interested to communicate about Ike as long as they are able. There are expert meteorologists who attempt to predict where Ike will go and what Ike will do. But despite all the technology and advanced degrees, no one really knows and everybody has to wait and see.
And so do we. The storm watchers. We watch. And we wait. And we watch and wait some more. While Mother Nature wreaks its havoc in the Gulf, Mother Renny wreaks her havoc in the jury house and has sent Dan into a panic, leading him to believe that he doesn't have her vote. is she just returning some of his medicine, for all of his ribbing? And why hasn't Keesha influenced Renny? There is some talk about separation. Are the jurors separated from each other, now?
Dan seems to think that Memphis needs April or Ollie's vote to win and is surprised that Memphis didn't say anything to them. Is Memphis just confident that Aprollie would never vote for Dan? Will Aprollie vote as a block(head)? Memphis found out about Dan and Michelle's trip to the beach and thinks that Dan has her vote as a result. And Jerry is apparently very, very angry. But at who?
So many questions. So many clues to deduce. What do the storm clouds suggest? Can you count the seconds between the thunderclaps and lightning bolts?
As Dan and Memphis worry, fret and ponder their fate, we sit in the eye of the storm and have some time now to reflect upon the rising and falling temperatures and barometric pressures in the house over the past ten weeks. Like volcanic eruptions, we have witnessed explosions - - of violence and tempers - - in the house. We saw friendships form and rivalries storm. We laughed as the houseguests tried to figure out if they experienced an actual earthquake or if the producers were pulling a huge prank. We reveled in the aftermath of the aftershocks from the houseguests' choices.
With some storms, the houseguests could prepare. Gather up their resources. Strategize for survival. Other storms, however, hit them unaware. Some left jetsam and flotsam in their wake, while others left as quickly as they came, with nary a ripple in the water.
So, fellow storm watchers, I want to know your opinion. Do you see the similarities I see? What say you? Which of the houseguests from this season most resemble the following forces of nature?
1. A hurricane?
2. A tropical depression?
3. A tornado?
4. A fire?
5. A volcano?
6. A tsunami?
7. A thunder and lightning storm?
8. A blizzard?
9. An earthquake?
And, if you could:
10. Which storm was the most fun to watch?
For extra credit . . . can you predict the thunderclaps (Dan's votes in the jury house) and the lightning bolts (Memphis' votes in the jury house)?
Update at 2:35 PM -
The jurors have been separated, until the final show, from each other. What do you think of this? Who is it most likely to benefit: Dan or Memphis?
Update at 5:20 PM -~
I received the following text message from HamsterDame a short while ago: "I made it through but it was a wild ride. No idea when power will be back though. Could be days or weeks."
~ Coleen with one "L" ~
Posted by HamsterDame at 01:48 AM | Comments (99)
Friday, September 12, 2008
Let Me Introduce You To
Hey there folks! I'm not going to go on and on about Hurricane Ike anymore because I've already talked too much about him on here. He's such an attention whore and wish he would chill out. I just don't think that's in his nature though.
Instead, I would like to announce who will be taking over the reins here on Silly Hamsters until I'm able to return. Many of you will be familiar with this person -- even if you don't comment yourself and only read what others have to say about my posts and Big Brother. I completely trust her judgment and know that she will run Silly Hamsters as I do. She's also a fantastic writer who always has something to say about what's going on with the show and the hamsters.
So I'd like to officially announce that the wonderful commenter Coleen with one "L" is the wonderful lady who will be at the helm until I'm back. She's been commenting on Silly Hamsters since I started it back in 2005 so she's very familiar with the SH style and all of you crazy people. LMAO!
Y'all don't need to do anything different from what you've already been doing. Talk about the show, post your comments, etc and she'll take care of everything. She's a fantastic writer so I'm sure there will be tons of fantastic posts for you to read and comment on. So I'm depending on all of you to help her hold the fort down. And please continue being your kind yet snarky and considerate selves with fantastic varying opinions!
Since this will be my last post until I don't know, I want to make my prediction as to who will win Big Brother. I really want Dan to win and I do believe that he will. I believe that he'll give a compelling enough final plea to the jury and answer their questions well enough that they'll consider his gameplay more than his lying and quirky behavior when it comes to the $500,000. However, I won't be upset if Memphis wins it all either. When it comes to the $25,000 for America's Favorite Juror, I think it will go to Keesha. I'd rather it go to Renny but I guess Keesha would be OK. As long as Jerry doesn't get it!
I have enjoyed this season so much! Big Brother 10 ranks right up there with BB2 and BB3 for me. So it kills me to know that there's a good chance I won't be able to watch the finale with all of you. But I'm sure it will be a fantastic finale and I can't wait to hear about it and all of the wrap party details later.
Y'all be good to Coleen! And I'll see you all on the flip side as soon as I can.
Coleen, take care of my baby and feel free to hand out spankings if they're needed. Hahaha!
Update from Coleen with one "L":
Don't worry, HamsterDame, I'm sure we'll all get along just fine while you take care of your personal safety. I know that this site is your "baby," and I'll take great care of it in your temporary absence. No wild parties; I promise!
Hey everybody, thank you all for your vote of confidence. I am so very honored to have been asked to help out. HamsterDame has very big (figuratively speaking, of course) shoes to fill and she has set the bar of your expectations very high indeed. I hope to carry on in her superb tradition and hope that my tenure is very brief and she comes back to us, safe and unharmed, as soon as possible.
Update at 5:45 PM -
Check out this video of Jerry on the early show:
Watch CBS Videos Online
And here is his visit on House Calls with Gretchen.
Watch CBS Videos Online
What are your thoughts on Jerry and his interviews? Would you have asked him something that Gretchen and Julie did not?
Posted by HamsterDame at 11:58 AM | Comments (106)
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Congratulations Renegades!
First, I want to say how bad I feel that I wasn't able to liveblog the show tonight for y'all. It's the first one I haven't been able to do for many seasons (excluding the season finales) and it really disappoints me. Even if I had been able to watch the show, there's no way I would have been able to liveblog because of the phone calls, text messages, instant messages, and emails. When I say it's crazy right now I really mean it! LOL! And let me make a tiny announcement right now concerning the possible fate of Silly Hamsters over the next two to three days. I have asked somebody who most of you are very familiar with to be a guest blogger in my probable absence. Stay tuned for the big announcement tomorrow.
I'm so happy though that Dan won the final HOH competition. I have to admit I was just a tad worried that he would have taken Jerry over Memphis so I'm glad he didn't do that. From what I heard though, Dan and Memphis celebrated quite heartily during the show when the camera went back to them in the house after Jerry had been evicted. Go Renegades! And for all of you who don't like their cockiness, so what. Let them celebrate and enjoy it. Y'all would probably hate me because I'd be so cocky at this point in the house!
So April's still being a little bitch in the jury house? Why does that not surprise me. I'm surprised to hear how badly Keesha dogged on Dan to her fellow jurors about his trying to swing her (and them) for their votes. That just makes it clear to me that she still has no clue about how the game is being played. Bitter, party of one please! Make that two if April joins. But I guess Renny and Michelle weren't exactly too happy about being in the jury house either. Oh well. At least we know for sure that the jurors know about Michelle's trip with Dan. And I'm not so sure Dan did any good doing that. I guess time will tell.
Who are you going to vote for as your favorite juror? To tell you the truth (like I'd ever lie to you), I have no idea who I'm going to vote for. I think Hurricane Ike is making me crazy because I'm almost tempted to vote for Jerry. Don't worry though, I don't think I could ever click on him. By the way, the voting is a little different this time. You have until 11:59 PM Pacific time on Monday to vote but you can vote eight times a day up until it's officially Tuesday.
I'm going to finish hunkering down here and prepare the tub as my home inside my home for tomorrow. But the hurricane coverage is driving me nuts so I would love for you to help take my mind off of things by telling me what you thought about the show tonight. Tell me all you want because I wasn't able to watch it. So spill it my Silly Hamsters peeps!
Posted by HamsterDame at 07:55 PM | Comments (87)








